Soon after moving into a leadership role, you discover that what you thought a leader’s job would be and what it is are two different things. Before becoming one yourself, you might have envied those in leadership roles. After all, instead of working out of a cubicle, they had roomy offices. Instead of working alone on a spreadsheet, they were gathered in the conference room, making heady decisions while an underling took notes. Instead of passively sitting in the audience during the town hall, they got to present a compelling future to everyone. The work you watched them do seemed more varied, impactful, and important. You envied their bigger titles, offices, and salaries! You wanted to gain control, but not the kind you needed.
Yes, as a leader, you’ll have more freedom with how you use your time, more interesting challenges to work on, more influence over the direction of people’s careers, and more involvement in the big decisions that will impact the organization. All those enjoyable things won’t add up to more enjoyment. They mostly add up to more stress.
Maximum Overdrive
My company was once hired to develop a leadership program for a fast-growing communications company headquartered in the Southwest. The program consisted of leadership ‘summits’ where we spent a day every other month focused on an important aspect of leadership. One of the workshops focused on Leading Culture, which was devoted to helping the emerging leaders identify the company’s own unique culture, and to having them consider what aspects of the culture no longer serve the company well and might need to shift. Interesting discussions ensued, and one word started surfacing again and again: redlining.
To a person, everyone enjoyed being part of a fast-growing company. They loved winning work away from bigger and more established competitors and working with marquee clients. There was a feeling of loyalty to the company leaders and an appreciation of their openness to forward-moving ideas. They liked being part of a company where they could receive more responsibility, and more opportunities to make more money than some of their competitors, where younger people had to ‘wait their turn.’ There was an entrepreneurial energy that felt electric, like everyone was on a winning team. All of that was uber-energizing. But…
Everyone also felt like they were maxed out. The fury of incoming orders and the ridiculous workload each order created felt all-consuming. It felt like all the success the company was enjoying was untenable. More than one person used the word ‘redlining’ to describe the experience, like each leader had the throttle all the way open deep into the red zone. Read more about the danger of terminal redlining in leadership.
Personal Fidelity in Leadership
As you progress in your leadership career, it will be increasingly important to make yourself a priority. This doesn’t have to come at the expense of all the people, responsibilities, and goals to which you are obliged. You can still faithfully serve all those things while also making yourself a priority. The term I use with the leaders whom I coach is personal fidelity.
The word fidelity has to do with deep devotion, loyalty, and trust. The word is most often used to reflect our dedication to others, such as our fidelity to our spouse and loved ones. The English translation of the Latin phrase Semper Fidelis means ‘always faithful’ and Semper Fi, of course, is the motto of the U.S. Marine Corps, reflecting their abiding loyalty and commitment to their brothers and sisters-in-arms. The word fidelity, though, isn’t confined to faithfulness to others. You’ll be an even more effective leader if you give it to yourself too.
Gain Control Over Yourself
Leadership isn’t just about charging forward and driving results. It’s about endurance. It’s about staying in the game long enough to make a meaningful difference—at work and at home. That means taking care of the one person your team, your company, and your family can’t do without: you.
You can’t give your best if you’re running on empty. You can’t serve others well if you’re neglecting yourself. So, be brave enough to pause. Be wise enough to refuel. And be faithful enough to yourself to live and lead with a full heart, not a fried one. You’re no good to anyone if you burn out. But with personal fidelity—real devotion to your own well-being—you’ll not only go farther, you’ll bring others along with you.
Stay strong. Stay grounded. And lead on.
Do you take the time to gain control over your life? How can you make a personal difference in your own life?
Interested in learning more about personal development? Check out these related posts:
This post was based on an excerpt from Leadership Two Words At A Time. Find it here.
Image by Adriano Gadini from Pixabay
